Have you ever just sat there and thought, Wow I am so over this. Like you literally can’t take it anymore? You know like work, friends, family? It’s that beautiful intersection of “I am done” and “keep trying me”. Yes, sis you are running on a short fuse and soon will blow. You need to take a breather girl! If you are constantly running on fumes you are going to wear yourself into the ground! Also this stress is not a good look on you, its going to weaken your immune system, give you wrinkles and raise your cortisol levels. We don’t like that.
So what I can suggest you do is start saying no. Yes that’s right start saying no. You need to set some boundaries. I understand that you might be a little scared because you don’t want to seem problematic. However, we are no longer going to keep people pleasing and disrespecting our mental health. We are leaving our mental breakdowns in 2020 okay!
You need to make yourself a priority, you need to accept that it is okay to say “NO”.
Why Do We Always Find Ourselves Saying Yes When We Don’t Want To?
When you are always the dependable one in the group setting or work setting people tend to come to you first. This is because this is the path of least resistance. They have gotten so used to you saying yes, that they have no problem asking you for what they need. This is why is it important to set your boundaries.
Boundary (noun) bound·ary | \ ˈbau̇n-d(ə-)rē – something that indicates or fixes a limit or extent
Setting boundaries can also be seen as a form of self care. You are preserving yourself from being mentally worn and stressed out. Putting up these little safe guards to protect your energy from being evaporated makes all the difference. Society has trained us as women to be subservient and agreeable.
Sometimes we say yes because
- We like to feel needed, and we are always known as being the dependable one. The one that everyone can count on.
- We are scared our friends, coworkers, or spouse may be upset with us if we say no.
- We are scared to say “no” and just don’t know how.
6 Different Ways to say “No”
Here are a few ways to set boundaries and effectively take a stand and say no. These are firm and this will set the tone of how people interact and talk to you.
- I would love to help out, however I am currently engaged in multiple projects. This would not serve either one of us.
- Unfortunately at this time I am unable to assist with that. However here are a few other people I can refer you to.
- Thanks for reaching out to me, but I am going to pass at this time.
- I am sorry but I can not decipher all of that information at this time.
- I have to decline at this time.
- I would love to attend but I have another engagement to attend do.
The list is endless but these are a few ways to effectively get your point across. Also, please remember you don’t owe anyone an explanation as to why the reason is no. Just be honest. People need to be respectful of your wishes. Just be firm with what you have said.
Remember you need to put yourself first. People only treat you a certain way if you allow them to do so. By setting your boundaries you are letting these people know how they can and can not treat you.
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